


why do you break me down?

by mjparkers



Series: broken [2]
Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, F/M, It is now, POV Michelle Jones, Smut, Window Sex, lol is that a thing...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 03:24:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18241400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mjparkers/pseuds/mjparkers
Summary: “You don’t love me, Peter.” MJ mumbles quietly. He barely could make out what she had said, but he hears her.And she’s wrong.Peter chuckles and looks at her sadly. “Yes. I do.”aka. peter and mj have angsty sex against her bedroom window





	why do you break me down?

**Author's Note:**

> hi. so ngl i've written before but have never actually posted anything. this is the first thing that I have ever posted so pls be kind. there's not an exact plot to this per say and I just wanted smut tbh...sooooo
> 
> feedback and comments are much appreciated! thank you.
> 
> inspired by a photo that I don't know how to share. bare with me I'm new at this...
> 
> title inspired by [if this is love by ruth b.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npbYBDENc_4) (seriously tho listen to it)

It was a rainy day in Queens when MJ decided to break up with Peter Parker.

 

No, they’re not dating or anything but when she says “break up” she means break up whatever it is that they have.

 

They were friends but they had always beat around the bush of something more. Lately something changed with Peter,  _ specifically two weeks ago  _ and it’s been _ awkward _ . 

 

They  _ still _  have amounted to nothing more than  _ just friends. _

 

After all these years she knew nothing would happen between them and she was happy with that,  _ yes _ , more than happy; because Peter was an idiot who was always selfless and being a “selfless idiot” got you killed. Not only that but he has never fought for her in a way she’s always wanted him to. So, why fight for someone who wouldn’t fight for you back?

 

He was Spider-Man, a superhero, he fought practically everyday, but for her? Nope. And she can’t count how many times she has seen him close to dying. After she sees him lying in the medical bay, after every small, lingering touch, longing look, or huge, dazzling grin he gave her ( _ that one grin that’s just for her _ ); MJ’s heart closes up a little bit more each time.

 

Until now. 

 

There is a knock on her window.

 

She knows it’s Peter and in all honesty after what she put him through today, she really doesn’t want to open it for him. 

 

_ Let him suffer out in the cold rain. _

 

“MJ! Please! Open up!” His muffled voice can be heard against his mask through the window. 

 

Huffing and standing up from her bed to turn around; she sees his red and blue figure in the rain. Apparently he’s bad at using the door. She opens the window and moves to the side to let him in. He rushes past her, water drops hits the floor as he goes,  _ ahem _ ,  _ ruining her carpet _ ; and his suit, completely soaked. Taking off his mask, his long curls sticks up everywhere and-

 

“I love you.” Peter is breathing heavily.

 

“What?”

 

“I said  _ I love you.  _ I’m sorry for not saying anything before. I-I-don’t know why it took so long.” Peter laughs lightly. “I’m an idiot.”

 

_ I second that. _

 

“But I want to be your idiot. If you’d let me, of course. Um, I know we’ve been dancing around each other for a while.”

 

_ A while... _

 

He continues, “I guess, I just never knew what to say. Or I wasn’t sure how I felt. And I-I’m sorry for that. I’m-I don’t want to lose you, ever, you know? And I feel like you feel the same way about me and-. God I’m rambling but,” he sighs and looks into her eyes, “I love you.”

 

_ She hates him. _

 

The thing is two weeks ago they had sex in his old twin sized bed at May’s apartment. It’s hard to explain what  _ exactly  _ transpired between them. It’s summertime, and their final year of college, Peter goes to MIT and MJ goes to Harvard, so they decided to go back home together.

 

_ Then they had their traditional movie night again at May’s.  _

 

Peter had lost a lot for someone so young. His parents, his uncle, Tony Stark, who was his idol and mentor, even  _ Gwen Stacy _  whom he had fallen in love with right after high school,  _ yeah _ . Watching him fall for someone that wasn’t her was hard, but guess you could say she’s used to it by now and she loved Gwen and when she died it was a loss for her too.

 

_ Anyways _ , they fall asleep on the movie and he had a nightmare; his nightmares were always strong and  _ look _ , he needed comfort and she was  _ there _ . So of course the dumbass that she is, she had sex with Peter Parker. Having sex with your best friend because he needed comfort? Not a smart thing to do, she would say.

 

Peter keeps grinning at her like he expects her to say the same thing back. She won’t. She  _ can’t _ .

 

She doesn’t.

 

Instead.

 

“You don’t love me, Peter.” MJ mumbles quietly. He barely could make out what she had said, but he hears her.

 

_ And she’s wrong. _

 

Peter chuckles and looks at her sadly. “Yes. I do.”

 

Tears prickle in her eyes, she just stares at him and doesn’t say anything; her lips pursed. She can’t say anything to that. MJ never thought she’d hear those words, but here they are out in the open. 

 

They were both standing in the middle of her room. Her back to her closed window. 

 

They had literally just seen each other. She was angry at him.  _ Why can’t he let her be angry at him?  _

 

Today he had put himself in harm's way by going after the “Sinister Six”  _ without  _ any backup and of course the “selfless idiot” got injured... _ again _ . For three hours the line had been dead between Peter and MJ over the coms. (Her and Ned still help him with spidey stuff _ , sue her,  _ she just wants to make sure everything is okay when he’s out there _. Friends do that _ ). She had to call Sam and the rest of the Avengers for help, because she had no idea what to do. After hearing Peter cry out in pain and the line being cut off, she freaked, she cried, she cursed him (not like she wasn’t used to it, it’s just this time  _ he cut the line _ ), but finally Sam had found him and took him to the compound.

 

Peter was mildly injured but  _ still injured _ . She sat at his bedside, and had gone into a full on argument about his safety,  _ again _ .

 

Her saying he can’t keep putting himself in harm's way and him saying he has to, he’s a hero with a gift and can’t sit back and do nothing, he needs to protect the little guy and-

 

_ Blah, blah, blah. _

 

_ Superheroes and their superiority complex. _

 

She’s done.  _ Done. _

 

And just _...tired. _

 

She storms out of the compound, deciding to not take anymore of his shit and goes home.

 

They've had this argument once before,  _ before Gwen _ .

 

Now, Peter is walking up to her slowly. He’s still out of breath from swinging all the way to her apartment. His suit is still on and mask in his right hand. His left comes up to her right cheek, then reaches to the back of her neck. 

 

“I’m sorry for not realizing it before, but I do.” Their foreheads are touching now. He lets his mask drop to his side. No space is left between them. She’s only a breath away from his lips when he whispers, “God, I love you.” 

 

After everything they’ve been through, you’d think she’d say it back.  _ She doesn’t. _

 

He kisses her, hesitantly, just a graze of their lips at first then slowly pressing his against hers. There was no rush to the kiss. MJ is stunned and unresponsive, but can feel Peter slowly pulling away, maybe thinking he misinterpreted the situation. 

 

_ I love you.  _

 

Feeling him pull away from her, she grabs the side of his face and pulls him closer, opening up her mouth to him. She swallows the sound of his moan. Her fingers card through his long, brown, curls. 

 

Suddenly the kiss changes into something desperate and needy. Teeth and lips battle against each other. His tongue slides between her lips; allowing him to dive in deeper into her mouth. He reaches to pull off her jacket. Feeling him struggle with it she maneuvers her arms and shakes it off until it falls on the floor; they never break from the kiss.

 

Her hand goes down searching for the small spider to loosen his suit. When she finally pushes it, his suit falls down from him and he’s only standing in his boxers. His arms come back around her, his hands goes inside her shirt, smoothing down her back. Her arms going around his neck.

 

Needy gasps and moans bounce off the walls in her room. 

 

They shouldn’t be doing this. This isn’t what she wanted. This wasn’t supposed to happen again, but she can’t help but kiss him harder.

 

_I love you,_ repeats in her head over and over again. 

 

_One day_ he’ll put on that mask, go out on patrol, fight some superhuman villain, go out to _fucking space_ , and never come back. _One day_ he’d be dead. And she’d be left heartbroken and _alone_. Just like he’s done to her before…

 

She can’t stop though. All train of thought left her when his lips touched hers.

 

Finally, Peter breaks the kiss and trails his lips down the side of her jaw to her neck. He stops and pulls away to tug her shirt off, she lifts her arms to help him. Peter throws the shirt across the room and then bites down on her bare right shoulder,  _ hard; _  a silent scream escapes her.

 

Peter moves them towards the window behind her. The bed right next to them but completely ignored. They hit the side table; the lamp that sits there, jiggles slightly.

 

He lifts her up by her thighs and her back hits the window, legs opened up to accommodate him on each side. Her bottom is half on the windowsill and half in the air. Peter partly holding her up with his body. MJ’s hands fly into Peter’s hair, nails scratching at his scalp. 

 

His hands come and pull down both straps of her bra. His mouth trailing downwards towards her breasts. Peter reaches behind her to undo the bra and pull it off her, throwing it to the side.

 

Her breasts spill out from its cups. Peter stops and stares at them. MJ looks at him impatiently, the ache between her legs pulsating, “Peter,” she whines. He looks back up at her.

 

Not breaking eye contact, his mouth closes on her right nipple. Peter sucks on the hardened peak. MJ’s eyes close, moaning loudly. 

 

Peter lets go of the nipple with a pop, he bites down, blows cool air, and watches it erect, then goes back to sucking on her nipple vigorously; licking, biting, sucking; it goes on. She couldn’t help the erotic sounds that come from her mouth. 

 

Need explodes from him and he couldn’t help but let it take over. MJ cradles his head against her; keeping him in place. Letting go of her teat, he moves on to her left breast to give it the same attention. 

 

One of his hands are holding her upright while the other reaches down to undo her jeans. 

 

“You still have too many clothes on.” He roughs out against her nipple. His tongue swirls around the areola, giving her a blaze of sensation. His teeth then raking against the tip and he moves down sucking and biting underneath her breast to leave a mark. Peter pulls her jeans off quickly down her legs. They stop at her ankles and MJ pushes them off hurriedly with her feet.  

 

He stands up from his held back position and claims her mouth again. Their swollen lips fighting each other, his tongue dancing against hers. They are pulled flushed against each other; her soaking wet core pressed against his underwear-covered dick. 

 

MJ pulls away from their kiss; her hand comes up to her mouth to lick her palm.

 

She then slides her hand into his boxers. Trembling fingers delicately hold his pulsating member. Peter releases a deep groan from the contact of her cold hand on him. She starts pumping him, his hips moving at a rhythm. Pulling in and out of her wet fist.

 

“If you keep doing that, this will end sooner than we want.” Peter groans out.

 

MJ doesn’t say anything, but looks at him with raw, dark, desire in her eyes. At that, he delicately removes her hand from his dick, falls to his knees and pulls down her cotton underwear. Quickly gliding them down her legs. His eyes never leaving hers. He grips her calves, urging them apart.

 

She pants heavily above him. Her needy scent filling up her bedroom; his eyes make contact with her slicked curls. Looking down at him, “Please,” she begs.

 

Peter eyes her hungrily and licks his lips, “Can I taste you?” 

 

“Yes!” She screams as his tongue doesn’t wait for her reply, but dips between her dripping folds. One hand flies to his hair to keep her steady, the other holds tight to the side of the window for more support. She’s completely seated on the windowsill now. Her eyes close involuntary from the intensity of his mouth on her sex. One leg draped on his right shoulder while the other bent, foot flat against the wall. He nibbles on her folds, making his way down reaching her opening, he twirls his tongue around it, MJ sighs before he’s thrusting his tongue deep into her. Her hand tightens in his hair. He plunges his tongue in and out of her. MJ moans and a small whine falls from her lips, but bites down on her bottom lip to keep herself from being too loud. 

 

Her head hits her arm that’s holding on tight to the side of the window, her eyes shut closed, nails raking the paint on the wall. He eases his tongue out and MJ cries out in protest. His teeth then grazes her clit and MJ pushes his face closer to her tight channel while she arches her hips up.

 

Peter continues to torture her with his teeth and tongue, nipping and licking, making tears form in her eyes; the intense pleasure flowing through her whole body. The pit of her stomach feeling like it’s on fire; she can feel how close her climax is.

 

Looking down at him, MJ opens her mouth to say how close she is but watching Peter suck, bite and lick at her, like it’s the most pleasurable thing that he’s ever done; all that comes out of her mouth is a broken whimper. His eyes were closed, but after hearing her cry he looks up at her, never stopping his sucking on her clit. He just watches her shake and shudder in his arms.

 

She comes with a loud shout into her semi-dark room. The only light coming from the moon outside and the small, dimmed lamp on the table next to them. The raindrops hitting her  window, thunder cracks through the sky. She doesn’t hear it though, only a small, constant, ringing in her ears, as she feels her muscles tremble and spasm.

As she slowly comes back from her intense orgasm, she notices that Peter is still lapping up her juices, his eyes dark and intense staring back at her now, never breaking away from the task at hand. She sighs, closing her eyes again and relaxes her grip on his head. Slowly caressing him, fingers carding through his curls. His hand rubs up and down her thigh, his other goes to her slit, easing his finger in.

She groans, “What are you-,” he adds a second finger and starts pumping in and out. Her hand tightens in his hair. The back of her head hits the glass window. 

He wants to see her come again.

Peter adds in another finger. Three fingers thrusting in and pulling out of her slowly. His tongue circles her clit around and around, then sucks it firmly into his mouth. 

“Peter!” MJ sobs as she feels another orgasm coming on. He pumps in and out faster and faster. The thumb of his hand presses down on her mound. His other hand still holding her in place. She arches into him. Her second orgasm comes crashing down on her, fast.

Peter licks and cleans up her slickness with his tongue. 

He stands up and grabs ahold of her. It all happens fast. Her legs wrapping around him firmly. He quickly pushes down his boxers to free his aching dick. One hand holding her waist, securing her, the other hand positioning his member at her opening, coating it with her wetness, teasing her, then he pushes into her simultaneously. Slow and deep, fully sheathed. 

They both groan at the contact. Neither one moves for a moment. Peter looks up at her face. 

MJ’s eyes were closed.

“Look at me”.

_ No.  _

“Em.” He whispers. “Please.”

She shakes her head rapidly, her heart heavy, eyes scrunched up like she will burst into tears any time soon. She knows what she’ll see in his eyes if she looks at him.

This wasn’t supposed to be happening. She was suppose to break this  _ friendship _ , this  _ relationship _ , off. She can’t risk her heart. Not after all this time. Not again. 

Peter sighs sadly, his forehead rests on her shoulder. His hips moves slow, deep and long at first.

“Oh, god.” Michelle whimpered.

He then maneuvers his mouth to hers. He licks inside her mouth, then bites on her bottom lip, and smooths it with his tongue; giving her a taste of her own arousal. His hips not stopping it’s slow, intense movement. MJ is then kissing him back; their tongues battling again. 

She breaks contact and whines into his mouth, when she feel him speeding up his movements.

It all felt erotic. Her breath trembling against his lips. His tongue tasting her shaky breaths.

Nothing had prepared her for this, it’s so much different than their first time together.  _ It wasn’t anything special, albeit rough, it was still just for comfort. And that’s exactly what she’s going to tell herself for the rest of her life. Okay? _

She can feel he wants more from her, but she can’t give it to him. She won’t. She moves her lips towards his ear and moans-

“Fuck me.” 

Never wanting to disappoint her, he did exactly that. He fucks her on her windowsill in her bedroom. His thrusts go from slow and deep to  _ fast and deep _ . 

Pushing her high above him, her hard nipples rubbing against his slightly sweat covered chest, his hips snapping into hers. Their breathy moans fill the room. MJ’s leg hits the side table and the lamp crashes to the ground but neither have a care in the world.

She bites down on Peter’s ear.

“Fuck me, fuck me, fuck-.” She repeats with every snap of his hips, her words fill the room, becoming guttural screams. Peter’s speed going from shallow to fast. 

Her head falls back again against the window. Her legs wrap tighter around his waist, the heel of her foot digging into his lower back; pulling him further into her. 

All that can be heard is skin slapping against skin, Peter’s grunts and her high pitch squeals, the squishing sound their wetness makes with every thrust. Peter can then feel her juices gliding down his leg.

“Fuck, MJ. I can feel you.” 

“Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Don’t stop.” She pleads to him. His thrusts never faltering. 

His right hand goes to her left and he laces them together above their heads. 

“Em.” Peter whispers to her.

His thrusts then slow down. MJ whines in protest from the change in pace. He stops completely. His forehead rests against hers. Breathlessly he says “Open your eyes...please.” His voice cracks a little at the end, and her heart  _ breaks _ .

_ I love you.  _

This time she opens them. She feels helpless against him. Their breath mingling together while they stare into each other’s eyes.

His gaze never leaving hers, he moves again. He now sets a slow and powerfully, even pace. With every push in her, a gasp escapes. She can’t help that her eyes roll to the back of her head. 

He nibbles on her lips. “Please, more.” MJ whispers brokenly. 

Then, Peter’s hips snap into her. MJ scrambles to find purchase, but it’s hard when one hand is still laced in his ( _ he doesn’t let go _ ). One hand grips his back as his hips piston in and out of her. His strength taking MJ by surprise. 

_ Superiority complex, ahem. _

She kisses him hard and messy while he pumps in and out of her.

Not being able to breathe she pulls away from his lips, and takes in a large gulp of air. 

“Pe-ee-ter! ” His name falls from her lips brokingly. His attention goes to her collarbone, licking and biting, marking her as his. 

“Mine _. _ ” He says it so quietly, afraid she might hear it. She does.

_ Yours _ .

“I love you.” He whispers again, at the bruise he just left on her.

Hand still laced together above her head, she squeezes his tightly. She pants heavily in his mouth, body shaking in his arms. He’s then setting a punishing pace. Her back hits the window glass; she can hear the loud, banging from their thrusts; can feel the trembling of her legs, how close she is. 

“Pe-ter! P-Pe-ter! Pe-!”

He runs the hand that was laced in hers down her abdomen. He reaches down to her clit and caresses it carefully, reminded of how sensitive it is from earlier. Then slowly rubs it stiffly in time with their thrusts. 

“Close. So, close.” Whispering into his mouth.

He’s grunting. “I feel it.” His voice is rough and he kisses her forcefully on the mouth again.

“Come for me.” He groans in her mouth. 

He speeds up the pressure of her clit; hips never slowing down from his rapid pace. 

Pulling away from his mouth, MJ shouts out her release; her walls clamping down on him fiercely. Her nails biting into his skin, marking him with small half moons; her body shaking under his. Her head has fallen back. MJ’s damped hair from her sweat, falls loosely behind her. Peter’s hips start to falter; finally, losing his rhythm. 

MJ slowly returns and feels Peter still hard inside her, his movements faltering. Her lips going back to his ear to whisper-

“Come for me, Peter.” 

His hand slaps the window behind her; with a loud groan he comes and stills, emptying himself inside her, biting the juncture between her neck and shoulder. She feels him throb and pulsate within her; her walls fluttering around him; milking him.

After they both catch their breath, Peter lays gentle kisses on the love bite he left on MJ while he carries her sweaty, shaking and slacked body to the bed. He climbs in next to her and wraps his arm around her. 

Their labored breathing slowing down. Their skin still covered in perspiration.

They lie in bed for a good ten minutes, neither one speaks and she’s close to passing out. The rain still storms outside the apartment. The only light coming from the small glimpse of moonlight that peeks through the clouds, hitting her window. The now broken lamp still lies on the ground, all she does is stare at it, no desire to get up and fix the severed pieces.

Finally, after another few minutes and her breathing subsided, she pushes his hand off her and tells him she’s going to the bathroom.

Feeling cold and empty but with shaky legs, MJ stands and grabs her shirt that was thrown carelessly on the floor, throws it over her head and rushes to the bathroom. The whole time feeling his gaze on her, but he doesn’t say anything at all.

Opening the door and slamming it shut, she leans on it then goes to the sink to wash her face with cold water. She looks at herself in the mirror, her curls a mess, bruised lips, skin still damped. MJ reflects on what just happened.

They can’t keep going around in circles. 

So she pees, washes her hands takes a deep breath and prepares herself for a confrontation. 

When she walks through the door to her bedroom she sees him standing up with his boxers back on, reaching for his suit.

“Leaving already?” MJ crosses her arms and leans on the frame to the doorway.

“No, no, of course not. I just wasn’t sure-.”

“Don’t go.” She stares at him earnestly.

Silence fills the air. The only sound coming from the rain outside and their silent breathing. They stare at each other without either one moving.

“I’m not leaving. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

MJ nods her head and walks into the room fully. 

“You say that now, but what scares me is one day...you will. Leave me, that is.” She sighs. “So don’t promise me anything, Parker. I know you and I know you can’t keep them.”

Peter doesn’t say anything to that. He knows it’s true so he just nods his head and looks away towards her bedroom closet on the other side of the room. He stares at it for awhile afraid to look anywhere else, she assumes. 

“We have right now, though and I want you to hold me.”

His gaze snaps back to hers and he smiles;  _ her smile.  _ She can’t help but smile back _.  _ He walks up to her and she meets him halfway.

“And I do, by the way, love you. I love you.” He grins at her and grabs a hold of her hand, delighted with her confession. “But...I am scared.” She whispers the last part gently. Her smile falling.

“I know, I’m scared too.”

_ The end. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> again feedback and comments are much appreciated!! thank you for reading!!


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